I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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