they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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