I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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