If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
