Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
