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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No idea how I passed that sobriety test.

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• (607): View more from New York

  It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.

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• (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it

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• (518): View more from New York

  I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  .......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me

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• (917): View more from New York City

  The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.

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