we have officially lost it.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
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i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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