the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Of course I have a pirate flag
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
