How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.