Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.