i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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