I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
