Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
