This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Text me some of your sweat
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