I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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