He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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