she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think im going to throw up on grandma
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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