Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
