Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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