Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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