You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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