The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
