Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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