I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
