i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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