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How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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