Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
A bitchslap is in order.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
