I wish I only lived at night.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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