8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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