if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
