Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
