At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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