I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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