flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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