no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
