Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
