I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
