there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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