I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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