thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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