so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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