im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What a dumb baby whore.
Found the puke drawer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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