"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
