Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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