took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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