News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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