I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Randomize
