Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
