Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
