Your tits are I can't wait for
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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