Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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