I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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