My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
that's an acceptable place to lick
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
