A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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