You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
