Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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