question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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