On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
