You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
