We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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