Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
