Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
