And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
