You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
