Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i think i just lost a toe
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
