I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
