A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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