Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
and she was petting her beer can
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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