so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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