I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
