I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life