Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.

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  (407): also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask. http://tfl.nu/a5xa
  Replies (7) Good night (1716) Bad night (482)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING

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  (404): just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING http://tfl.nu/vg2h
  Replies (18) Good night (5989) Bad night (1167)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.

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  (917): My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked. http://tfl.nu/yy4v
  Replies (16) Good night (4546) Bad night (976)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.

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  (443): you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life. http://tfl.nu/pccz
  Replies (10) Good night (6376) Bad night (1177)
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  (323): View more from California

  He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

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  (323): He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated http://tfl.nu/z16t
  Replies (7) Good night (3162) Bad night (898)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate

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  (360): Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate http://tfl.nu/9xzc
  Replies (6) Good night (1605) Bad night (637)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed

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  (843): I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed http://tfl.nu/od18
  Replies (9) Good night (656) Bad night (2212)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.

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  (614): Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it. http://tfl.nu/4lfe
  Replies (19) Good night (895) Bad night (1253)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home

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  (423): I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in (1-423): Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home http://tfl.nu/1crt
  Replies (4) Good night (627) Bad night (1211)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now

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  (604): yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now http://tfl.nu/b5id
  Replies (8) Good night (497) Bad night (1099)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.

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  (843): I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs. http://tfl.nu/k4hm
  Replies (11) Good night (1080) Bad night (1949)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.

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  (207): I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron. http://tfl.nu/90fl
  Replies (9) Good night (1403) Bad night (526)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1398) Bad night (608)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.

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  (573): I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/e7oe
  Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (467)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol

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  (587): Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking. (306): There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol http://tfl.nu/d3jk
  Replies (4) Good night (1044) Bad night (400)

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