Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
