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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..

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(215): I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere.. http://tfl.nu/8h2a

Replies (13) Good night (709) Bad night (1416)
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(845): View more from New York

Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo

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(845): Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo http://tfl.nu/oxyw

Replies (8) Good night (1138) Bad night (612)
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(563): View more from Iowa

How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?

(1-563): View more from Iowa

The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?

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(563): How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence? (1-563): The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them? http://tfl.nu/0g65

Replies (46) Good night (2788) Bad night (1166)
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(925): View more from California

I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position

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(925): I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position http://tfl.nu/2xnt

Replies (15) Good night (1131) Bad night (4414)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience

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(603): i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience http://tfl.nu/wb3q

Replies (37) Good night (6541) Bad night (870)
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(613): View more from Ontario

So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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(613): So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely. http://tfl.nu/77c9

Replies (58) Good night (8331) Bad night (2079)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical

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(612): I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical http://tfl.nu/u7u5

Replies (18) Good night (9500) Bad night (761)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.

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(403): Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it. http://tfl.nu/6k4w

Replies (18) Good night (4996) Bad night (1309)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.

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(724): you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles. http://tfl.nu/nryc

Replies (5) Good night (2690) Bad night (923)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.

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(480): I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name. http://tfl.nu/lmy8

Replies (6) Good night (1127) Bad night (2623)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm off the liquor

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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(403): I'm off the liquor (1-403): You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick http://tfl.nu/sglp

Replies (7) Good night (1979) Bad night (623)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...

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(770): Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less... http://tfl.nu/7jyd

Replies (5) Good night (1500) Bad night (585)
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(630): View more from Illinois

There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.

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(630): There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win. http://tfl.nu/fnn3

Replies (8) Good night (1819) Bad night (527)
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(850): View more from Florida

He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.

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(850): He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable. http://tfl.nu/zo4w

Replies (7) Good night (732) Bad night (968)
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(309): View more from Illinois

It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

...Wow...

(309): View more from Illinois

I could be a kindergarten teacher

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(309): It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life. (1-309): ...Wow... (309): I could be a kindergarten teacher http://tfl.nu/o4tt

Replies (20) Good night (1332) Bad night (464)

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