Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
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he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
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HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.